The Scenic Route

These are just some random pictures taken on the way to St. George. I love the rugged terrain and the beauty it brings.

30 Years in 3 Days

On the way to the reunion. Linda wanted a picture of the sign.
First view of mountains. Yes I took this while driving. Not the smartest thing I've done, but hey we all do stupiud stuff at times right?
Linda at the Black Dragon viewing area on I-70. Before we go to this spot we passed a rock formation that was really cool. It reminded me of the movie "Galaxy Quest" and Garignak (not sure of the spelling)the rock monster. We didn't get a picture of it though.
Recently I had the chance to attend a family reunion for the Lunnen side of my family. I hadn't seen a lot of my cousins, aunts, and uncles for about 30 years. Some I had never even met. Unfortunately my siblings and I have not been very close to any them with the exception of one or two. I don't know why that is. It may be due to the fact that we lived in the Midwest and the rest of them lived in Utah or Arizona mostly and the distance made it more difficult. Or it may be due to other reasons, but be that as it may I was trying to play catch up. We reminisced about the times we had together. I don't have a lot of memories to share with my extended family and a few of the ones I do have, I wish I could forget. However, it was nice to hear them talking about my grandparents. I didn't know my grandmother well, because she died when I was only 8 years old. What I do remember of her is that she was a kind, loving person. She always sent a birthday card with a dollar bill in it. She also sent a book for either Christmas or my birthday (can't remember which)that I still have. My grandfather I knew a little better, but always felt that he didn't approve of me or my brothers. The few times we visited him after grandma died I always felt that I had done something wrong, but didn't know what it was. It was nice to hear at the reunion that the cousins have fond memories of him and what a wonderful person he was.
It was so fun getting to know my cousins all over again. 3 days just didn't seem to be long enough. Thanks to my cousin Diane I will never think of plaster of Paris in the same way ever again.
Linda, Celeste, Jack aka Dad, and I at the family picnic.
My Dad, Aunt Neva, Aunt Joyce, and Uncle Boyd, 4 of the 5 siblings in attendance.
This is everyone in attendance.

My Little Ray of Sunshine

Nothing profound to say. Just pics of My Little Ray of Sunshine.
Giddyap Ducky
One swinging girl

I'm ready for my close up Mr. Deville.

Rock and Roll

The past couple of years Sean has been taking wood shop in school. Last year he made a dartboard cabinet and a baby rattle. He gave both things to his sister Linda. This year he made a rocking chair and guess who he gave it to, Linda. I'm glad he likes his sister so much, but I always thought that kids gave the things they made in school to their moms no matter what it was. Oh well, maybe next time he'll make something for me. He received an award for the rocking chair. He got first place in the furniture category.

He Did It

Jared Manning and Landon Evans with Sean in the background. Brandon Bishop got in this shot too.
Some more with the others.
You wonder why I was concerned.
The receiving line

Some of the young men from the ward.
Sean with his diploma and cousin.

Yesterday was a milestone for Sean. He graduated from Seminary. While that may not seem like a big deal for some, it is for him because I wasn't sure if it would happen. Sean has had difficulties in the past with anything academic, church related or not. This year he has made a huge turn around and is doing so well in school and at home. The miracle of modern medicine.

Finding Faith part 2

Most reading this are probably getting tired of me moan and groan about depression. It's not that I want to keep harping on it, but I hope that it might be beneficial to others with this illness will know they are not alone.
Anyway on to the post. In an earlier posting I had said that I was feeling alone in this battle. That's what it feels like, a battle. Some days it's a battle to even just get out of bed, but i do it anyway. (That is one thing I have to thank my mother for is the routine of getting up no matter how you feel.) It's a battle every day to get simple tasks done. I feel good about life if I can get a load of laundry done. I'm just glad I have older children that can pick up the slack of the things that are just too overwhelming. They have been wonderful. Sundays are especially hard because I have to put on a happy face when most of the time inside I want to cry. I digress from what I wanted to say.
In Relief Society yesterday we had the most wonderful lesson. I felt it was just for me. I know that isn't the case, because I am just one person. The teacher had taken a talk from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland that he gave at a CES Fireside in Sept. 2008. It went along with the lesson superbly. The part that touched me the most is this,
"When we are in dire circumstances and want to cry “Where art Thou?” it is imperative that we remember He is right there with us—where He has always been! We must continue to believe, continue to have faith, continue to pray and plead with heaven, even if we feel for a time our prayers are not heard and that God has somehow gone away. He is there. Our prayers are heard. And when we weep He and the angels of heaven weep with us.

When lonely, cold, hard times come, we have to endure, we have to continue, we have to persist. That was the Savior’s message in the parable of the importuning widow (see Luke 18:1–8; see also Luke 11:5–10). Keep knocking on that door. Keep pleading. In the meantime, know that God hears your cries and knows your distress. He is your Father, and you are His child."
In my earlier post that I mentioned, I had made a descision that regardless of my inability to feel of the Spirit right now, I would continue to keep on keeping on. I feel an ever so tiny glimmer of hope that maybe I will get through this.

Rainy Days and Mondays

This weekend has been a little rough. I don't have any explanation for it either. Usually I can identify the distorted thought, but I couldn't today, yesterday, or the day before. Oh well there was a very bright spot to the day so I will focus on that. Linda came over with Celeste. She usually does on Mondays and that gives me something to look forward to. Before they left Linda was playing with her and I had to get a video of it. It made me laugh. Linda would sneek up on Celeste and make her laugh. I am so glad to have this little imp to help me feel better.

State Competition

The bus is finally here. Rebekah, Camille Larson, and Rachel Iba from Chanticleers . Just before the performance. Rebekah didn't want to ride the bus so we drove to Emporia separately. We were told to leave by 11:50am in order to try and get an earlier slot for singing since some of the kids had to get back for their roles in the school play. The bus company didn't get that memo so they left at the originally scheduled time. But we left at the earlier time so here we are still waiting. Waiting for the rest of the choir.

A few weeks ago the choir Rebekah sings with got a 1 rating at Regionals. The entitled them to participate in the State Competition held in Emporia KS. A 1 rating is the best. For the competition they are required to sing two songs with one of them being in a foreign language. I was a little worried what rating they would get because they did a better job at regionals with their first song than they did today. They did an awesome job on the second song though which was the foreign language song. This year the choir director had the girls in all the choirs sing as one group and all the boys sing as one group too. So Rebekah participated in a small ensemble as well as a large ensemble. I am happy to say that both of the groups she participated with got a 1 rating. Way to go Rebekah.

Rebekah is on the back row middle.

My New Do

I had fun today. I got to be a hair model for Jamie Johnson. Jamie is the daughter of my friend Bobbie. Jamie recently returned from serving a mission in England. She has been trying to find a salon where she could practice her profession. She contacted a woman at a salon to see if she could have a booth on commission. In order for this to happen Jamie had to demonstrate to her that she knows what she's doing. So today for the first time in my life I got highlights; also a new style. I like it now and hopefully in the morning I will be able to do it again.

Have You Done Your Visiting Teaching?

Okay so this may be a little irreverent, but I thought it was worth posting. A least it gave me a good chuckle. Hopefully it will do the same for you. You can find more like this at http://www.9thwardcartoons.com . It's where I got this one.

Finding Faith

I think the worst part of my struggle with the Big Blue Monster is the feeling that I am alone in this battle. I don't mean feeling like I'm the only one with this struggle, (because I know I am not) but it's the feeling that Heavenly Father is not listening to my prayers. It's having a lack of the Spirit. It's a time when I plead for help and guidance and I feel nothing. I feel so utterly alone. In a sense I feel like I have been abandoned by the Supreme Being who created all. I've come to learn though that this happens to others that have depression. I found out that two particular individuals that have this battle have also gone through these same things. These two people are men that I respect greatly and that I see as very righteous and spiritual men. One a former Stake President and the other a former Bishop as well as holding other callings in which receiving inspiration is a must.
For some reason, whether it be physiological or something that God has happen as part of this trial, during the very bad bouts with this illness for me anyway, I can not feel the Spirit. I then feel "okay what am I doing wrong?" which then leads to an even bigger downward spiral in my self-worth. It sometimes is so bad that I feel like giving up. I know I can't and I press on. I am in one of those bad downward spirals right now, but I made a conscious decision, that regardless of the loneliness I will continue to do the things I know I should. I am taking a leap of faith in the hopes that one day I will be able to have that wonderful gift return.

Singin' Time

This last month has been slightly eventful. Rebekah participates with the Shawnee Mission South Choir. She has had so many concerts the last two months. Spring brings the State Competitions. That's one of the reasons for the many performances. The good news is that each of the groups Rebekah sang with got a 1 rating. That's the best rating to be had. She also tried out for the Raider Revue. That is night of song and dance that the choir uses as a fund raiser. She made that as well. She has a group of friends that they will be doing "Dancing Queen" from Mama Mia. I'm so excited for her and what she has accomplished.

Welcome Home Elder Divis

April 1st brought Jeffrey Divis(my nephew) home from serving in Romania.
When he left for his mission, Jeffrey and Laura were both in the MTC(Missionary Training Center). That was fun for both of them. They would see each other occasionally at meals and devotionals. Jeffrey is also Daryn's favorite cousin since they are only eight days apart in age.
Since Jeffrey came home on April Fool's Day we decided to be a little foolish.

Those that greeted him at the airport were of course his parents Jeff and Kathy Divis,

his sister Jaimie, Jon and Dani Allee(cousins)Linda and Celeste Rathjen(also cousins), John, Travis, Easton, and Jenna Fackrell(uncle and cousins),
Joe, Heidi, Laura, Daryn, Sean, and Rebekah Fackrell(uncle,aunt, and cousins).




As part of our foolishness we decided to have Dani's husband Jon greet him at the gate. Jeffrey hadn't met Jon before he left so we thought that would be a good trick. We wanted to have Jon dress up as a security person and try to scare Jeffrey,

but decided against that since we didn't think the real airport security would appreciate the joke. Then the rest of us waited at the baggage claim for him to arrive. We had a lot of fun with it. There was one airport employee by the claim area that would just look at as and chuckle. She did make a comment on how she liked our hats.

2009 Chili Cook-off

A fun time was had at the chili cook-off. Every entry was delicious. My favorite was Karen Babin's that had a secret ingredient. She added chocolate to her pot and it was yummy. Steve Stokes won the prize for best after taste. The Millers won for best flavor. Joe Fackrell won for the hottest chili. Calli Potter won a prize as did the Capeners. The best over all chili prize went to Kevin Manning for his scrumptious entry.

My New Philosophy

I found this quote on a piece of flair. It's not an exact quote, but it's close enough.





Here it is "Smile like nothing’s wrong,

talk like everything is perfect,





act like it’s all a dream,



.and pretend it’s not hurting me."

Fun in the Snow

Snow is cold, but it can also bring hours of fun. Today during the warmup Daryn decided to make a snow fort. He had the help of two of our neighbors. They had a good time building the fort and even more fun destroying it. Daryn is such a fun person to be around. He views life as a simple thing. I could learn from him if I would allow myself.