Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Love Languages


Recently I read a book by Dr. Gary Chapman titled The Five Love Languages. In this book he states that there are 5 basic ways that people show love to others. It's really a book for couples, but I think it can apply to any relationship. I kept having a hard time remembering what they were until I was able to alliterate them. Here is my summary of them in no particular order of importance.
1. Touch. Touch is one of man's basic needs. We all need to be held to some degree and some people really thrive on this.
2. Telling. Words of affirmation, compliments, and phrases like "I love you" are how some people show or in this case how they care for someone.
3. Tokens. To me this is Dr. Chapman's version of gift giving. A person will use an object to demonstrate their love.
4. Time. Spending quality time with loved ones. Giving someone your undivided attention.
5. Tasks. This is really giving service. I think it is closely related to spending time with someone. It's not quite the same because you're spending your time on them, not with them. It's amazing what a difference a preposition can make.
Dr Chapman further states that sometimes a person is "bilingual" when it comes to their "love language". I think this is me. The way I like people to show me they care is when they spend time with me. But when I show others I care, I use my time in making something for that person and then giving it to them. I have an extremely difficult time in vocalizing my feelings towards others. So I may not say " I love you" or "I care about you", but when I give something I've made that is what I am saying.

3 comments:

Stephanie & Brad Bishop said...

I still have the gift you gave Brad and I for our wedding-cross stitched name!

Jessica said...

I learned about this at an enrichment meeting a few years back--my language is the spending quality time one. I think it's so important to know what your children's love languages are--it really helps in the parenting process.

Andrea said...

I love this book. It changed our life. It is a great book!! I have the five love languages for children also. It is a great read.